Update Jan 2025
Given Siobhains’ ( Shiv ) recent and unexpected passing, I revisited the photos I shot of her from 2012. These images were part of photography project I started back in 2012 called The Friendly Tree. The project kind of withered on the vine after this shoot because of my other work commitments. The name, as I recall, was Lorna Saunder’s idea during a messy after-party at ours. It was a play on the concept of a family tree, but instead, I wanted to document the connections between friends and social circles—how they grow and evolve over time.
Most of the SOAS group I’ll mention below moved to London for education or work, and over the years, these friendships became our London family. Ironically, Shiv was one of the few actual Londoners we knew.
Looking back now I think Shiv was very generous and brave agreeing to this photoshoot. She wasn’t in a good place when we met up for this shoot. She was out of work and living in a hostel, had fallen out with her father and had just got out of an abusive relationship. I wasn’t fully aware of how bad her situation actually was, as we hadn’t seen each other for maybe a year or so. We chatted about it at the time but I’m struggling to remember the details now 13 years later.
After she moved to Edinburgh we weren’t in contact that much, and time just disappears as you get older. The last time we tried to meet up in Edinburgh it fell apart at the last minute as she didn’t want to come to the pub we were going to have lunch in. In hindsight we should have popped down to Leith but we had to catch a train and it would have been tight.
I’d like to reviveThe Friendly Tree project. If anyone within my friends group would like their portrait taken, please message me.
My original post from 2012 follows…
The Friendly Tree – portrait Series
Continuing the Friendly Tree series, here is my old friend Siobhain—“Shiv”—who I’ve known almost as long as I’ve known my partner, Selena. Shiv and Selena met by chance while temping at the same company for just one day back in 1993. What started as a fleeting encounter grew into a lifelong friendship.
Shiv played a significant role in our lives. We travelled to Thailand and Guatemala together, and through her, Selena and I became part of a large, enduring friendship group. This was the SOAS gang: Tim, Robism, Kevin, Jules, Ant, Ian, Miranda, Helen, Andy, Mischa, Paul & Kym, James & Jo, the other James & Jo, Suzy & Damon—and over time, the partners, husbands, and wives who joined us along the way.
The first time I properly met Shiv was quite amusing. It was early in my relationship with Selena, and we were hosting a party at the house share I was living in at the time in Stoke Newington. I was sharing the house with Mark and Marika—the chef and his girlfriend who had introduced me to DTPM, where I’d met Stephen Benyunes.
In this sprawling city of six million people, I’d somehow ended up sharing a house with a friend of a friend of Siobhain’s. What are the odds?
Also living in the house was Jane, who had invited some of her London friends to the party, one of whom was James Leppard. Unbeknownst to us, James was also friends with Siobhain.The party was in full swing when the doorbell rang. Selena and I went to answer it and found James at the door, asking for Jane. Standing just behind him was Siobhain, with a puzzled look on her face, clearly wondering what on earth Selena was doing at a party with James’s friends.
This, however, wasn’t the only strange coincidence. Years later, we discovered that Siobhain had known a very close friend of ours, Gina, for several years before either of them realised they both knew the same Robbie and Selena. Here’s Gina’s recollection of how they finally connected the dots:
Outlandish it certainly was, with cocktails named after Pharaohs’ genitalia and mythic porn etched into the loo walls. But Siobhain, as expected, was completely at ease, as if she’d grown up there. She was energetic, sharply witty, and enormous fun—with her own unique brand of intelligence and abandon that few people can match.
“I first met Siobhain through my ex-flatmate, Suzie, in March 2004 at LMNT—my now-favourite restaurant in Hackney. Suzie and I had just moved to Hackney, and though I’d never met Siobhain, I’d often heard Suzie recount stories about her colourful and gregarious friend. I was looking forward to meeting her—especially since she’d suggested we meet at a decadent cocktail bar and restaurant with an outlandish Egyptian theme.
After Suzie moved to Scotland, I saw less of Siobhain. But it wasn’t until spring 2006, during another one of our drunken six-hour lunches at LMNT, that Siobhain mentioned Robbie and Selena in passing. That was the moment we realised we had them in common. The shock of not realising this sooner still amazes me.
Siobhain will always be her own individual person, and I’m so grateful to have known her. Though I see her less often now, whether it’s through Suzie or Robbie and Selena, I always love spending time with her. Thank you for bringing her into my life!”